Family Law, Divorce, Custody and Child Support Attorneys in Denver, Colorado

The Unique Challenges Fathers Face in Family Law

While navigating through the legal system in a family law matter can be grueling for either party, fathers have their own unique challenges.   Having had the opportunity to represent fathers  in family law cases in Denver and Colorado Springs, I can appreciate the problems many of them must confront in a system that has not always appeared to be gender neutral.  Because of the situations many men find themselves in, it is always a good idea to talk to a family law attorney as early as possible, even if only to get some correct information in how to deal with the many issues men must confront.  Many men, however, suffer silently and then find themselves having to react to events that can, at least initially, compromise their rights as a father.

Although every case is different, an all too typical case is when a man comes to an attorney’s office once he has been served an Emergency Temporary Restraining Order.  This is Order comes about when the opposing party files an Emergency Petition in court without notice to the other side alleging that some threat or danger exists where she and/or the children need protection.   The Order has powerful remedies and can result, among other things, in the father not being able to see his children as well as his being kicked out of the home.  These Orders are often granted despite the severe remedies and lack of due process to the opposing party.  It is understandable that a judge would want to err on the side of caution; what if the one case presenting itself is the one case could turn out to be a horrible tragedy which could have been avoided with an issuance of Temporary Restraining Order.  While it is unequivocal that these Temporary Restraining Orders are essential in some cases, it does appear that some parties may use this very powerful tool as a way to gain an unfair advantage, especially when a divorce or other type of breakup appears imminent.

While the law does require the courts to conduct a full hearing soon after these Orders are entered which allows the man to tell his side of the story and to have the opposing party subject to cross-examination, by then he is in a more vulnerable position.   He has been out of the house and away from the children and often feels completely displaced and is trying to recover from the shock.  In my experience, within a reasonably short amount of time, I have been able to “undo” some of the damage that has occurred to bring things back to a level ground for the client; however, it is a source of stress and some expense that many clients would have preferred to avoid.

It would behoove fathers and men to come see a family law attorney at the very hint of domestic strife,  if only to get good information and to work on a proactive strategy with a legal representative that can  help them look forward and focus on what it most important.    Depending on what is going on in the household, men need to be wary of any disagreements or arguments that could lead to an allegation against them that could trigger a Temporary Restraining Order.   If the police are called, often men are not believed and then the wheels could be set in motion for a criminal or civil complaint that can put the father in an unfair advantage, causing further emotional and financial stress. 

Many law firms, such as ours, provide free consultations which can be worth their weight in gold.   By getting good legal counsel before things fall apart, a father can set up a workable strategy before any major problems unfold.  This will enable the father to focus on his child (ren) and other important matters without falling so readily into the raw emotions that often accompany this stressful period.   Once these systems are in place, the parties will have a workable structure to move forward in a healthier way for themselves and for their children.

Mother’s Rights and Parenting Time: Do Moms Have the Advantage in Colorado Courts?

Clients faced with parenting time issues often ask where the court’s loyalty lies when it comes to who gets custody – does the court favor mom or dad? Today, the term “”custody” has been replaced with “parenting time”, and it’s not just the terms that are changing with the times. Although fathers are often quick to raise a suspicious eyebrow, the answer is the same no matter who asks the question. Colorado Courts are remarkably gender-neutral, and the most important factors used to determine which parent is entitled to more parenting time really depend on each family’s specific facts.

Mothers may seem as though they have an advantage before the court in terms of parenting time because moms tend to be the primary caretaker in the household, especially in terms of caring for infants and younger children. However, having a stay-at-home mom is no longer the norm. In many Colorado homes, the economy has forced both parents into the workforce, or in the alternative, fathers are taking off their ties and pushing up their sleeves as stay-at-home dads.

So how does the court decide who gets how much parenting time? The standard the court uses, and which every parent should plant firmly in their head, is that of the best interest of the child. The court gives principal consideration to the child’s physical, mental and emotional needs. Courts also want to encourage frequent and continuing contact between each parent and the child.

By Colorado statute, the court considers a myriad of factors for establishing parenting time, including, but not limited to: the parents’ wishes, the child’s wishes, the child’s involvement with family, school and the community, the ability of the parents to encourage the sharing of love and affection between the child and the other parent, the health of the parents and the child, and which parent has primarily cared for the child in the past. Other factors the court will consider are whether one parent perpetrated spousal or child abuse, or abused drugs or alcohol.

The best parenting schedule really depends on each family’s particular situation. In a great many cases, splitting a child’s time equally between parents may be the best thing for a family going through a divorce. Depending on the proximity of each parent’s home, it may be in the child’s best interest to have portions of the week split between each parent, such as the child spending school nights at one parent’s home and weekend nights with the other parent. Splitting parenting time during the week gets significantly more difficult the farther apart parents live. That distance may warrant a parenting schedule where the child lives with one parent during the school year and the other parent during vacation time.

Whether parents are able to reach a parenting schedule negotiating and agreeing between themselves, or whether parents require a court to help make those decisions for them, each parent should understand that their children are not something to be won or lost in the divorce.

If you are considering a divorce or separation, consult a family law attorney experienced in parenting schedules to advise you as to what kind of plan would best suit your family’s needs.

Modification of Parenting Time

Parties in a divorce or allocation of parental rights and responsibilities action generally file a Parenting Plan or the Court issues an Order regarding parenting rights and responsibilities.  Even with a carefully laid out plan, it is nearly impossible for the parties or the judge to make predictions about the future.  There are a multitude of issues that may arise which are not addressed by a parenting plan or a Court order.  Examples of such issues include: choice of doctors, choice of schools, major-medical expenses, post-secondary education, relocation, extra-ordinary expenses, religion, etc.

One of the first things to consider is a whether the current plan or order has a conflict resolution provision.  Often times parenting plans include an alternative dispute resolution requirement.  If the parties are unable to reach an agreement about a conflict that may arise, they may be ordered to mediate or arbitrate the dispute before seeking court intervention.  Even if there is no such requirement in the parenting plan, the Court may still require the parties to attempt alternative dispute resolution before permitting the filing of a motion seeking modification.

If mediation or arbitration is unsuccessful, a party seeking to modify the current orders may file a motion requesting a modification.  A filing fee is generally associated with the motion as it will often reopen a closed case.  Depending on the nature of the relief requested, the Court may issue a Domestic Relations Case Management Order.  This Order will establish the procedure required to adjudicate the motion.  The Order often requires the parties to file disclosures, conduct discovery or hire experts much like the original proceeding.  Ultimately the Court will schedule a hearing to address the parties’ dispute and issue another Order.  In the alternative, the parties may reach an agreement and file a new Parenting Plan which addresses a resolution of the existing and preferably, future disputes.

There are several standards to consider when contemplating a modification of parenting rights and responsibilities.  In general, an emergency motion to modify parenting time requires a showing of significant endangerment or imminent harm.  A motion that requests a modification that will result in a schedule which changes the parent whom the children live with a majority of the time requires a more complex showing.  In such cases, the court considers many factors including but not limited to:  mental and physical health of children, wishes of the parents, wishes of the children (if relevant), ties to community, proximity of the parties, etc.  A motion that requests minimal modification will generally require a showing of the best interests of the child.

Modification proceedings are often much more complex than the original proceedings that allocated parenting rights and responsibilities.  An experienced attorney and a well written parenting plan are important in an original proceeding.  They can help reduce potential disputes and court intervention in the future.  Many times, parties do not hire an experienced attorney or file an adequate and comprehensive parenting plan.  These people find themselves in Court more frequently as children get older and their needs begin to change.  Like so many other situations in life, it’s important to get things done right the first time.  If it’s too late for that, let an experienced family law attorney help evaluate and prepare for the future.  An experienced attorney will have insight into the multitude of situations that may arise in your particular situation.  Let’s get it right the second, third or fourth time as the case might be.

Criminal Cases and Divorce

All too often one or both parties in a divorce action have criminal backgrounds or have open criminal cases.  These criminal cases can often play a significant role in divorce proceedings.  They can impact the allocation of marital property and more importantly, impact the allocation of parental rights and responsibilities.

The influence criminal cases have on the allocation of marital property is more straightforward.  A party to a divorce proceeding who hires a criminal defense attorney to represent them in a criminal proceeding is usually charged with the legal fees.  In other words, using marital funds to pay legal fees is often considered a misuse of those funds.  In such cases, the opposing party is often given credit when the court allocates the marital debts and assets.  For example, a debt to a criminal defense attorney will likely be entirely allocated to the party who incurred the debt.  In the alternative, that same party may forego an allocation of marital assets equal to the amount of funds spent on legal fees.

Perhaps the more complex and damaging effect of criminal cases occurs in the allocation of parental rights and responsibilities.  The level of damage is generally determined by the nature of the charges, the number of cases, and the outcome of those cases. 

• Nature of charges.

Parties charged with domestic violence, sex crime, drug/alcohol, assault, child-related and other similar crimes will face the most difficulty in acquiring parenting rights and responsibilities.  The consequence of these charges may often lead to restricted parenting time.  The restrictions may also include supervised parenting time, monitored sobriety, therapy, etc.

• Number of cases.

Generally speaking, the more cases a person has been a party to, the more problems they will have in a divorce proceeding.  Multiple cases involving the same or similar charges will be additionally problematic. 

• Outcome of cases.

A person charged with a crime will have less difficulty than a person convicted of a crime.  However, a person acquitted of a crime will not necessarily avoid problems in their divorce proceeding.  First, let’s take the case where a person is charged with a crime.  Generally speaking, a party is presumed innocent until proven guilty.  However, police reports, forensic reports and other investigative reports may be used in divorce proceedings to help the court make determinations with regard to parenting rights.  It is important to note that the burden of proof in a criminal case is beyond a reasonable doubt.  However, the burden of proof in a civil case, such as a divorce proceeding, is by a preponderance of the evidence.  The civil burden is lower than criminal burden.  Therefore, pending the ability of a prosecutor to meet the burden of proof in a criminal matter, the same evidence may facilitate the meeting of the burden of proof in a civil divorce matter.  This same theory can be applied to the case in which a person is acquitted.  The prosecutor may have failed to meet the criminal burden, however, the burden may be met with the same evidence in the civil divorce proceeding.  It’s easier to see that a person convicted of a crime will have the most difficulty because the prosecutor has already met a higher burden than would otherwise be met in a civil proceeding.

When a criminal matter is open at the same time as a divorce proceeding, the person charged with a committing a crime may often have the ability to diminish the negative impact the criminal matter will have.  Prosecuting attorneys will often extend offers or plea bargains to the person charged.  These plea bargains should be carefully evaluated for the suspected bearing they will have on an open divorce proceeding.  For example, a plea of guilty to disturbing the peace will have less impact than an original charge of assault.  A charge of domestic violence is often one of the most damaging charges a person can face in the allocation of parental rights and responsibilities. 

There are several circumstances in a divorce case that can pose obstacles or alternatively, help undo the damage done.  Examples of obstacles include, evaluations often performed by professions such as sex, drug and/or alcohol evaluations.  Endeavors that help undo the damage may include parenting classes, individual or group therapy, monitored sobriety, etc.

Whether you are the victim, defendant, or spouse of a defendant, it is important to recognize the effect criminal cases can have on divorce proceedings.  An experienced attorney can explore the options and advise client on methods of approaching the effect of criminal cases.

Child Support and Parenting Time

One of the most common misconceptions about child support and parenting time is that, if either is denied to a parent, this gives the other parent leeway to deny the other.  For example, Mom does not pay Dad child support, so Dad withholds parenting time.  The inverse of this, Dad denies parenting time, so Mom does not pay child support, is an equally unreasonable assumption in the eyes of the law.

One of the saddest telephone calls I frequently receive are from someone saying, “I wasn’t able to afford child support after I lost my job, so I haven’t been allowed to see my child for a couple years, and now my ex is going after me for back support.”  This is sad in on many different levels.  First, this child has been deprived of a parent for way too long.  Second, this deprivation is founded on bad information.  Third, two years later, after the psychological damage a child experiences from  having a parent removed from his life, the child support is still owed.  Fourth, it may have been possible to modify the child support obligation, and fifth, courts tend to not be so sympathetic to parents who are viewed as walking out of a child’s life and disregarding child support.  A reintegration period for that parent with the child may be necessary for the emotional well-being  of the child, and, in addition to owing back support, interest may be added on to the debt.

With the above in mind, it also makes sense that, if Dad is refusing child’s parenting time with Mom, then refusing to pay child support is not a good way for Mom to retaliate.  As the support obligation is not alleviated by Dad’s refusal to comply with orders for parenting time, that sort of retaliation will only end with Mom continuing to not see child and owing back support plus interest.

Sometimes, there is a threatening aspect to the situation.  For example, Mom tells Dad that if he tries to enforce parenting time, then she will sue him for back child support.  As a general rule of thumb, it’s not good to encourage the threats of the other parent by giving in to them.  This usually just results in more threats and abusive behavior.   Here, there is no exception.  If Dad gives in to this threat, the most likely result will be that Mom waits until child is older, and then she sues Dad for the back support.

There are ways to avoid these traps.  If Dad denying Mom’s parenting time in violation of a  court order, then a motion to enforce that parenting time may be filed.  If no orders are in place for parenting time, then a Petition may be filed to seek Court Ordered establishment of defined parenting time.  If Mom stops paying child support, it is a better option for Dad to seek enforcement of the support order than deny Mom parenting time.  One, denying parenting time for that reason is most likely not in the children’s best interest.  Two, if Mom acts appropriately and files a motion to enforce her parenting time, the Court may very well frown on Dad for this behavior.

Also, if circumstances change for a parent, and that parent is no longer able to meet a support obligation, then it is best for him to look into whether a motion to modify the support order is warranted, and sooner than later.  If the parent owing support has to take a job with a significant pay decrease, the existing order will nonetheless remain in place unless that parent has it modified by Court Order.

Congress’ Attempt to Solidify the Rights of Military Parents

Upon a military service member’s return home from a long deployment necessitated by war, he or she is undoubtedly eager to reunite with family and friends. Unfortunately, if a service member happens to be the parent of a minor child, he or she may arrive home and be confronted with yet another battle.

Should a military parent be divorced, separated, or no longer involved with the other parent of his or her child, it is very likely that plan was established to allocate parenting time and responsibilities. Whether this plan was made by agreement between the parties or by Court Order, the plan may or may not have addressed whom the minor child would reside with during the military parent’s deployment. Even if the plan addressed what happens in the instance of the military parent’s deployment, what happens when that parent arrives back home and wants to resume his or her former parenting schedule?

A recent CBS news report addressed this very situation. The CBS news report concerned a military service member who is also the mother of a minor child. Upon her deployment and pursuant to her family care plan, she temporarily transferred her status as the child’s primary residential parent to the child’s father. The problems began when she arrived back home and was informed by the child’s father that she needed to obtain legal counsel. According to CBS, the father refused to return the parties’ minor child to the mother and resort back to the parties’ parenting arrangement in place prior to her deployment.

Congressman Mike Turner from Ohio has introduced legislation that attempts to resolve this issue. This legislation would set federal standards and guidelines for domestic relations courts to follow concerning a service member’s parental rights. However, the Department of Defense argues against the bill, and believes that because this issue has historically been left to the states to decide, the states are better suited to handle it. As the Department of Defense has successfully stifled the bill since 2007, the future of these provisions is unknown. However, as this issue appears to be gaining national attention, we will continue to follow the bill’s progress.

To read more, go to: http://cbs4denver.com/national/military.parents.custody.2.1366749.html

Life is About Making the Right Decisions and Moving On: What to do when one parent wants to relocate after a court-ordered parenting plan

Negotiating and agreeing to a parenting plan can be an arduous task for everyone involved.  Once all of the parties involved have agreed on a schedule and plan that works, and that plan has been accepted by the court, it can be unpleasant to rock the boat if one party wants to relocate.  However, at some point, one or both parents may wish to relocate with the children because of a new job, a new spouse or simply a new beginning.

The first step should be to examine the location to where one parent wants to relocate.  It is important to have hard and specific facts about the job market, the housing market, the schools, and the church or community programs which would benefit the parties in the event such a move took place.  The court will likely only grant a relocation for the children if the move is in the child’s best interests, and if there is a reasonable, feasible way for the non-relocating parent to exercise his or her time with the children.  It is generally not a good idea to approach the court with vague and uncertain plans for a move.  If you are the parent thinking about relocating, determine the best place for you and your kids to go, and start gathering some facts about why a relocation will create a better life for your family.

Generally, taking the kids and moving to a new location without permission from the other parent is never a good idea. Courts generally frown on parents who remove children from the State of Colorado without first consulting the other parent, and if the parties have not agreed to a modified parenting plan, the non-relocating parent may demand that the children be returned to the state.  A Court may still determine that a future relocation is in the best interests of the children, but it is a good idea to either work out a new parenting plan with the other parent, or submit a motion for modification of the parenting plan and a motion to relocate to the Court before packing up and taking off.

If you or your other child’s parent is contemplating a relocation, it’s a good idea to contact a family law attorney familiar with the applicable statutes and case law to assist you in the process.

Parental Alienation

Several jurisdictions recognize parental alienation by another parent as an actual, and diagnosable issue.  In those jurisdictions, it is weighed heavily because the Court recognizes the susceptibility of children to the influences of a parent. 

While Courts look at the relationship between the parties when making determinations about parenting time exchanges, as well as in regards to making determinations about decision-making authority, Courts are more interested in the quality of the relationship between the child and each parent.  This is why parental alienation is so effective, and so dangerous.  With a child of any age, from two to eighteen, children are impressionable and so very often, the lawyers at the Johnson Sauer Legal Group, L.L.C. hear stories about children intervening in telling one parent or another that they want less time. 

Often, we see that it is the primary parent, the parent with the majority of time, who uses techniques of parental alienation on a regular basis to push the other parent further away.  This is a danger because parents recognize it, child and family investigators recognize it, and Courts recognize it.  The standard that the Court uses for determination of parenting time is the best interests of the child.  When one party is alienating the child from the other parent, Court’s will find that such behavior is not in the best interests of the minor child and this type of behavior should be avoided as much as possible.

E-mails as Exhibits, Think Before Hitting the “Send” Button

Remember the good old days when we all sent our letters by what is commonly known today as “snail mail?”  It was great.  You could get into a heated argument with someone, write them the nastiest letter in the world, sleep on it, wake up in the morning, and then decide, “Maybe its best if I don’t mail this.”

Today, quite a few of those steps are removed.  In fact, all of them are.  All that separates one from delivering that nasty-gram to the other party is that now proverbial “send” button.  After parents separate from eachother,   e-mail often becomes a primary mode of communication.  Unfortunately, people don’t stop to consider how their e-mails will look if presented to a Child and Family Investigator or a Judge.  I tell clients, before they hit that “send” button, they should picture their e-mail with a big “Exhibit” sticker on it and consider whether they will want to explain it later.  If one’s legal matter is contested, there is a large chance, if not a 100 percent chance, this e-mail will come back to bite the sender.  Even if the matter is resolved by settlement, those e-mails can still be used for posturing or to worsen one’s position in negotiations.

Although this may seem like a common sense thing to avoid, it happens all the time.  I believe this is true for two main reasons.  Reason number one: most people believe that, if they are arguing about something with their spouse,  significant other, ex, etc., then they are substantively in the right, and it does not matter who sees it.  In the heat of the moment, people do not stop to consider the emotions that may be clouding their judgment, and they do not stop to consider that, even if they are in the right, the way in which they deal with the conflict may be frowned upon as well.  Instead of sleeping on it and walking to the mail box, they hit the “send” button.

Reason number two: many of these e-mails are sent before litigation is anticipated, or during a stage when a person is mistakenly under the belief that he or she will be able to eventually “work things out” with the other party.  People often feel betrayed when the other party actually has the audacity to show their private communication to the court.  And so it goes that, whilst one expects the gloves won’t come off and maintains a false sense of security in dealing with a loved one, a stack of damaging evidence is created.  People end up looking at what they wrote and thinking, “Well, jee-wiz, I was just venting.  I didn’t really mean that.”  I cannot count the number of times new clients have come to me providing a stack of juicy e-mails to deal with.  The moral of this story is, if you don’t want to “CC” the Judge, don’t hit the “send” button.

Giving Thanks – During a Divorce

Everyone knows that going through a divorce is a traumatic and emotional experience.    However, if you look closer one is able to find the silver lining and find that their situation is one that still should be viewed in perspective and “thanks” should be given.

1. Children – Losing time with your children is, in my opinion, the most devastating part of the dissolution process.    While, I could not imagine the stress and feeling of losing time with ones children.   I can tell you that if you are in the situation of going through a divorce, than you know the amount of stress that you and your children have been going through during the marriage.    The silver lining in all of this, is that the amount of time it takes to go through a divorce is relatively small and once you are in a better place in your own life your children will benefit.    While the quantity of time with your children will go down, the quality will go up dramatically.

2.  Finances – To the higher earner in the marriage this is a touchy situation.   It is difficult to divide ones income and retirement with ones soon to be ex.   However, be thankful that you are in the situation to be able to divide and provide for your ex and children.    Also, depending on your age and situation, it will either be possible to regain these financial advantages that you once had or if you are of retirement age be thankful that you, in most cases, have successfully raised your children and provided a great youth and growing experience for them.

3.  Attorney Fees – No one likes paying their attorney fees or even worse the attorney fees of their ex.   An attorney provides you with much needed legal and emotional stability.   It is our job to provide you with all of your options and provide you with the “what ifs”.   However, it is still your life and your decision.   You should be open and honest with your attorney about your wants and desires so we are able to provide you with the best possible legal service and negotiate or litigate a favorable outcome on the items of which are most important to you.

Most important, give thanks that you are on the road to a happier and healthier life.

Happy Holidays!

Parenting Agreements for Infants and Toddlers

Often times, courts start with the unspoken presumption that shared parenting time is in the best interests of the children. If both parents are able to exercise 3-4 days per week, want to spend that much time with their kids, and have an established relationship with them, then we often find that the burden for obtaining any other schedule shifts to the party seeking more time. So while there is no statute that requires a shared – or “50/50″ – starting point, as a practical matter, we find most courts start with that assumption.

But that assumption doesn’t really exist when it comes to infants and toddlers for many courts. Contrary to our observations in most other cases, when the case involves infants and toddlers, many professionals involved in family law believe the designation of one, primary caregiver is in the best interests of the child. The argument is that the identification of one primary caregiver meets the developmental needs of kids at this early stage and that trying to split the child’s time between two parents may create significant negative issues for these kids later in life.

There is some scientific evidence which supports this theory. The evidence is not taken from actual children raised in one-caregiver situations verses two-caregivers, but is instead based on the developmental stages of children, their emotional attachments during those stages, and studies demonstrating how the brain develops in young children.

If we believe these studies – and many who practice in family law in Colorado do – then one parent should be designated as the primary caregiver and awarded almost all the parenting time for these young kids. These same alleged experts do concede, however, that if both parents are able to work together for the benefit of their children, a two-caregiver arrangement may “not be harmful”.

Unfortunately, this may be a case where valid science is being misapplied, with devastating consequences. If lawyers believe a judge is likely to follow this philosophy and award just one party all the parenting time, a situation where the parents are relatively civil and able to work together most of the time has just turned into an “all-or-nothing” nuclear war for designation of primary caregiver.

Further, at what point does the loser parent get reintroduced to his or her child? Haven’t they now just lost any hope of truly being an equal parent? Won’t they now always be the “Guest” parent?

Finally, what happens when the infant or toddler has an older sibling, who is at a different developmental stage? We all recognize that we should keep the children together whenever possible. Does this mean the developmental needs of the older sibling to have a relationship with the “guest” parent must be sacrificed?

There is no easy answer to these complicated cases involving infants and toddlers. And since family law professionals vary in their beliefs on this issue, it becomes very difficult to settle these cases.

Holiday Parenting Time

As we all know, the winter holidays sneak up on us quickly.  That is why it is so important to consider your plans with children early.  Very often, we run into situations where clients and prospective clients contact our office at the last minute regarding disputes over holiday parenting time.  Here are a few tips about how to avoid rather heated arguments with your child’s other parent:

1.      Have a parenting schedule in place that assigns holiday parenting time to one or the other parent:  Oftentimes, parents want to agree with one another that they will decide holiday parenting time on a case by case basis.  This is not a good idea.  If you have no Court Order which grants specific parenting rights to each party, and then you cannot reach agreements, there is nothing for either party to fall back on and to rely on.  It is important to remember that you can agree to deviate from the Court Orders by mutual agreement, but the problems arise when the parties do not have agreements.  Therefore, you need to address holiday parenting schedules in any agreements that you reach with the other side.

2.      Do not wait to resolve issues:  If you are expecting to travel with the children during the holiday, do not procrastinate.  The sooner that you can address these issues, the better off you will be.  Additionally, Courts are busy.  It takes a long time to get into Court, so if you cannot reach an agreement with the other parent, you need a lot of time to get a hearing.  More and more often, Courts are deciding that holiday parenting time disputes do not warrant a forthwith or emergency hearing.  Therefore, if you are planning to travel next year for the holidays, you might want to think about getting the process with the Court started now.  Unfortunately, it is probably too late for the Court to help you this year.

3.      Remember that holidays are important to the other parent too:  The holidays are an important time for many.  Here in Colorado, the Courts will likely decide that both parents should have a right to share this important time of year with the children.  Your extended family will understand if the children cannot travel all over the county every year to be with one another, so remember that your children likely need to have a relationship with both sides of the family, especially during the holidays. 

These are just a few points to get started with.  But the most important thing to remember is that you need to start early.  The holidays should be a fun and happy time of year for children, so it is best to do what you can to make sure that they are. 

When to Move out of the Marital Home

Making the decision to move out of the marital home is a very difficult decision to make in the beginning of the dissolution process. It is a decision that should be discussed with an attorney because it could affect several issues of your case, including maintenance, child support, parenting time, and most importantly who stays in the marital home during the process and after the dissolution.

If you have children, moving out of the marital home could adversely affect the amount of parenting time you receive with your children.    In most cases, the children will stay in the marital home throughout the process of the dissolution.   If you move out, than you will be the one that has to make sure their new home has adequate accommodations and you are able to transport them to and from their daily activities, if they are to stay the night at your new home.    While dividing your family into two homes is inevitable, it is not necessarily in your best interest to move out until a parenting plan is in place.

When and if you decide to move out, make sure you find a place that is adequate for your children and for yourself.   If you decide to find a cheap place, just because it is cheap, then the Court may determine that is all you need for rent in the long run and this could adversly affect the amount of money you keep of your own paycheck for your living expenses and could provide an avenue for your ex to get more money for maintenance.    Maintenance is calculated by your spouses need and your ability to pay, if you lower your bills by renting a cheap place it could be costly in the long run.

Consult with an attorney before you move out, because once you move out it is extremely difficult to get back in, in most cases.   Your spouse will have a difficult time getting an Order from a Court to have you removed from the marital home, but if you move out your spouse may change the locks and it may be an uphill battle to move back into the marital home.

The decision to move out of the marital home divides your one family home into a two family home, which is difficult both from an emotional standpoint if there are children and is always difficult regarding the financial situation. In most cases, prior to the divorce families are just getting by, and now you are going to have to financially pay for two separate households. It is very difficult, but in most cases, one party has to move out to make the process go smoother, and eventually the inevitable will come.    But what is most important, is that you know how your decision to move out will impact not only the near future but also the process of the divorce and long term commitments to your spouse and children.

It is a difficult decision and one that should be made with the advice of an attorney.

Parenting Time at Start of Divorce

When a couple with children initiates the divorce process, a common issue is parenting time. If one parent moves out of the marital home, there may not be an opportunity to secure parenting time for a couple months, or the soonest time a Temporary Orders hearing is available on the Court’s docket. Many parents are able to work with each other to ensure that their children are able to spend time with both parents. However, it’s not all that uncommon for one parent to restrict the others parenting time during the initial stages of a dissolution proceeding, when there are no Court Orders available to enforce parenting time.

Sometimes the primary parent has concerns for the health and well being of the children while they are in the care of the other parent. In some circumstances, these concerns may be founded. In other circumstances, it may merely be a ploy to alienate the other parent, take control, or attempt to gain an advantage in litigation.

The Court will generally not see one parent’s lack of parenting time as an emergency, per se. Just because a parent has moved out and is not getting parenting time, this does not typically equate to the Court conducting an emergency hearing that week. It is a process that takes time.

When I represent a parent who is not able to exercise parenting time with a child in these beginning stages, I have two main goals. The first is to get a hearing as soon as possible. If the other party’s allegations are serious enough, that may result in supervised parenting time for the other parent until issues can be sorted out. However, that is better than no time with a child, who needs to know that the other parent is still going to be a part of his or her life. The other goal is to consistently request parenting time from the other party during this period in an effort to make arrangements for at least some parenting time, until a hearing can be held and the Court enters an enforceable parenting time schedule.

If this conflict arises, it is invariably the most difficult aspect of a dissolution proceeding for the isolated parent. It requires patience, and hope for a light at the end of the tunnel.

Justice vs. Karma

I often have discussions with clients related to their spouse’s conduct during the marriage, whether it is poor parenting, no interest in parenting, marital misconduct (i.e., adultery), et cetera. Of course, the legal perspective is that most of these issues will not be relevant in the dissolution of marriage action.

If a parent previously disinterested in parenting a child “suddenly” becomes interested in more contact with his or her child, for whatever reason, the parenting landscape is going to change and both parents will need to accept that reality. The hope is that the motivation to be an active parent is based on a genuine desire to enhance the parent-child relationship and not for other reasons unrelated to the child’s best interests.

Ultimately, these types of issues are difficult to resolve satisfactorily during the course of the case and only time will reveal whether non-involved parent’s increased involvement is sustained and beneficial to the child. For other issues not addressed by the law, such as marital misconduct, I am generally left with discussing the limitations of the law and the importance to my client’s progress of chalking those issues beyond the law’s scope as matters better left to “Karma”.

Parenting Busy Kids

Turns out busy kids are happy kids Overbooked kids? Nah, it’s parents who stress – Kids and parenting- msnbc.com. It’s the parents that need a break.

Often times in Colorado divorce cases, we see parents who are overly concerned that their kids are too involved with activities and sports. As this article notes, busy kids tend to be happier kids. Keeping your kids in sports and other activities is a high priority for Colorado courts.

Parenting Agreements

Many parents involved in a Colorado divorce process don’t realize that their parenting agreements can be changed – on a daily basis – if the parties agree to it and their agreement doesn’t specifically prohibit it. Since most parenting agreements don’t contain such limiting language, parents remain free to mutually modify their agreement to best serve the interests of their child.

50-50 Parenting Schedules

Many parents in divorce cases focus on the percentages of time allotted to them as parenting time rather than focusing on the best interests of the child. Since the legal standard for allocating parenting time is the best interests, talking about percentages places the cart before the horse. Parents involved in parenting time or “custody” cases should be talking about the child’s daily routine, or ritual, and activities and transportation and neighborhood friends and proximity to other family members.

Also, Judges can be highly suspicious of parents who are fixated on percentages since percentages are used in determining child support. It’s easy to question a parties motives when they come to court talking about percentages of time with their kids and an obvious desire to lower their child support order.