Family Law, Divorce, Custody and Child Support Attorneys in Denver, Colorado

Collaborative Divorce – Creating a Resolution that Works

Several weeks ago, I attended a two-day training seminar about Collaborative Divorce. I didn’t know much about it except what I had heard outside the legal world. I remembered hearing the term in the movie “Juno” – that it is a divorce process that is “all the rage right now”. I also remembered hearing celebrity Robin Williams recently divorced his wife of 19 years through the collaborative divorce process. I knew collaborative divorce was considered an alternative to the nightmarish courtroom battle that most Americans think of when the subject turns to divorce.

As I soon found, many lawyers and people in the legal field believe collaborative divorce is not truly practicing law, or is a ‘soft approach’ to divorce. However, listening to experts of this budding field of family law, I found it to be an interesting, almost refreshing, alternative to the courtroom battles. In this process, the parties agree that they want to proceed with a collaborative divorce, and each retain a separate attorney trained in the collaborative divorce process. Both parties must agree that, if the collaboration fails, the parties will retain entirely new counsel and proceed with the traditional divorce process.

The beauty of collaborative divorce is this: the couple must work through their demons with trained professionals, such as professionals in mental health, child specialists, financial specialists and a mediator. This entirely open process gives each client the opportunity to address the issues most important to each of them. The parties are free to create their own solutions and can address issues that are most important to them, not just what a judge believes to be legally significant.

The collaborative divorce process has the potential to create healthier families post-divorce. The focus is on forward-thinking solutions, and the process can go as quickly or as slowly as the parties require. If children of the marriage exist, each parents’ concerns are addressed openly with the facilitation of child specialists, and parties have the opportunity to put the best possible paths in place for parental decision-making, responsibilities and scheduling.

The client’s attorney participates in a slightly different manner, but like both the traditional divorce process and the collaborative divorce process, the client’s attorney ensures the client is well-informed of their legal rights and the legal implications all decisions could have. Attorneys also assist their clients through this sometimes emotionally-taxing process by facilitating and encouraging solutions that the attorney can then draft into an agreement for the court. As difficult and uncomfortable as this process may seem, the end result is a divorce with better communication and understanding between the parties.

Who cares whether or not you can communicate with your ex? You should. Post-decree matters can be as expensive as the initial divorce, and the additional stress of combating your ex-spouse for years to come is not appealing to many – it’s like a never-ending divorce.

Its important to note that collaborative divorce isn’t for everyone. To determine if a collaborative divorce is right for you, contact a family law attorney trained in collaborative divorce.

Collaborative Law – To Be, or Not to Be …

I just finished 2 days of collaborative law training and on returning to the office, was heckled by my associates for potentially losing my litigation mojo. It seems some of them buy into the view that collaborative law is somehow a weak approach to family law, or, as one indicated, really best for the women in divorce.

Before attending the collaborative law training, I might have just chuckled a little and walked off in the face of these obviously sexist and hasty comments. But I attended the training and made the investment of two attorneys for two days to give collaborative law a fair shake – and a fair shake down. After two days of asking hard questions and being as fully open to the concept as I could, I can now say “bunk” to these preconceived, sexist and ill-inform comments.

Collaborative law is a valid and useful tool in resolving some family law cases. All cases should be evaluated as candidates for this process the same as we might evaluate a case for other tools such as mediation. I’m convinced that some cases will be better handled in the collaborative process rather than in litigation – not all, certainly, but some.

To my associates who think women fair better, I can say there is nothing gender specific about collaborative law. The process is completely gender blind. Men should fair just as well as women. I found nothing in the process which leads me to believe one sex is advantaged by the election of the CL process. I believe young fathers are particularly disadvantaged in our family law court system, in general, and I do believe there is a strong bias for young mothers. But I see nothing about the Collaborative Law process that exacerbates that inequity. In fact, I find the educational nature of collaborative law to be a powerful tool in bringing the parties to a common solution.

We have more to learn about the process and I look forward to it. This tool for resolving family law cases is here to stay for a reason – for some cases, this litigation substitute will help families survive the divorce process.