Parenting Time | Family Law Lawyers | Denver Divorce Custody Child Support Attorneys

Visitation vs. Parenting Time

Since 1993 in Colorado, what used to be called “visitation” is now referred to as “parenting time”. This change in terminology reflects a shift in attitudes about the quality and responsibility of time spent between parents and their kids.

The perspective which we view time with the kids has changed from “rights” of a parent to “responsibilities” of a parent. Divorce courts are now much more focused on parenting as a job, or responsibility, rather than a right to be demanded and awarded.

Considering time spent with your kids as a period of “visitation”, a parent could develop a reputation of being more “fun” or less strict. Naturally, the other parent became associated with being more “strict” and less “fun”.

The shift to parenting time implies that during your time with the kids, you should be focused on being a parent, i.e. school work, chores, activities, etc, rather than Chucky Cheese. No doubt that there should be fun time! But there also needs to be a specific focus on development.

Primary Factors

It’s important for fathers to know what factors a divorce court will be considering when deciding on a parenting time schedule. While not the only factors, here is a list of the ones that, in our experience, the courts most heavily look to:

Parent’s wishes
The wishes of the child if he or she is sufficiently mature
Relationship of the child with her parents, siblings, and any other person who may significantly affect the child’s best interests
The child’s adjustment to her home, school, and community
The mental and physical health of all individuals involved
The ability of the parties to encourage the sharing of love, affection, and contact between the child and the other party
The parent’s past pattern of involvement with the child
The parent’s system of values, time commitment, and mutual support
Parents’ physical proximity to each other and the child’s school and community
Any abuse or neglect by a parent
Any spousal abuse
The ability of the parent to place the needs of the child ahead of his or her own needs

Day-to-Day Routine Can Be Determinative

Viewing the criteria above, you can see that the day to day involvement of a parent in things like school, activities, church can be very powerful for a divorce court.

This is because Colorado family law courts try very hard to keep things as normal for the kids as possible. Therefore, past involvement in these essential routines helps keep a father involved in the future.

When it comes to past involvement with the child there is no one item that will satisfy the court, but rather a view of the whole picture.

For example, who gets the child up in the morning, picks out his clothes, helps her brush her teeth, takes him to school? Who picks him up from school, fixes the afternoon snack, makes dinner, makes sure homework gets done? Who supervises bath time at night, reads a story, says prayers.

Are Dad’s Important?

There’s always danger in interpreting statistics that they can be used to over-generalize or create a prejudice against one party or the other. It’s also critical to understanding statistical results that the context be fully understood.

Yet the statisitcs from one recent study strongly suggest that father’s role in helping to raise children is very important. That recent study states that of the children in a specific risk catagory, the following percentages come from fatherless homes:

85% of the kids that are suffering from behavioral disorders
63% of youth suicides
90% of runaways
71% of pregnant teenagers
71% of high school dropouts
75% of kids with chemical abuse problems who don’t have fathers

Most men in the study state that the mother is the primary obstacle to more time with their children. Of the mothers surveyed:

11% value the father’s input in handling issues with the kids
50% of mothers don’t see any value with continuing contact between the child and father
40% of mothers agree with the statement that they’ve interfered with parernting time to punish the father

Parents are the primary educators and principal role models for their children. The ridiculously extreme feminist belief that men are a negative, or at best, neutral influence on their children’s development is being broken down by study after study, but prejudice still exists and presents a special challenge to fathers in Colorado divorce cases.

Was this helpful?