“Will I be Okay?”
“I tell my new lawyers when the phone rings, here, in our office, something bad has happened. It’s probably the worst day in that person’s life. Something happened to push this caller to finally look for help. Sometimes, they need a lawyer. Sometimes they need an ear. Every time, we can help just by listening.”
M. David Johnson, Esq.
We’ve all been there and each time, it seems to be the worst day of our life. The shock, the surprise, the final decision. So powerful are the emotions of these early days in a family law crisis, it’s gut wrenching even years later, to think about it. There is no crisis like a crisis that affects your family.
That’s why, today, as you research information on the web, looking for an answer to the question behind all the other questions, “Will I be okay?”, the choices you make about how to start this process are so important.
In the divorce business, we see people at the early stages chose the path of destruction, personal or otherwise. But we also see people struggle to find a path to the next stage in life. The former is easy; the latter is tough.
A path of destruction isn’t really much of a path at all since it really leads nowhere. At the end of this false “path”, when a party is out of money, out of energy, out of anger, or the kids are simply all grown up, sometimes these folks who’ve chosen destruction see how much they’ve wasted, and they regret. Sometimes, they don’t and never will.
The harder choice is to find a path through the conflict – through to the end and beyond. It is a holistic path, meaning you can’t just think about parenting schedules and asset allocation.
Not to sound like someone who went to school in Boulder (and I did), but to be healthy at the end of this process simply requires you to think about health, diet, and humor at the same time you think about finances, short sales, and child support. See some movies, explore new music, listen to a new book, or subscribe to a podcast.
So, as you flip from one divorce law firm web page to the next, looking for fees and costs and retainers, don’t forget to also evaluate a lawyer’s value in helping you make “the choice” at this early stage:
Does this law firm sound like a firm that will take me down the false “path” of destruction, personal or otherwise?
Or does this law firm use it’s amazing experience of walking countless families through the process to actually help answer the question behind all questions, “Will I be okay”, with a resounding:
“YES! You will!”
Loading ...Johnson Sauer’s Approach
Divorce is, by it’s nature, a conflict. It’s nearly unavoidable at some point during a divorce. Since it’s unavoidable, we believe in “conflict management” – accepting the conflict and channeling it in productive directions.
“Positioning”
Some divorce cases require intense “positioning”, where our lawyers aggressively assert our client’s rights because it’s the right thing to do. This is often because the other side is taking an unreasonable position, or has chosen their own path of destruction.
With a good judge, magistrate, or court facilitator’s help, we can bypass the other’s destructive choice and get what we want – what we need – directly from the court.
“Education”
Other cases require “education”. Generally, we’re not speaking about the education of our client, since we do a very good job of managing expectations. Rather, some cases require us to, not-so-politely, educate the other side, lawyers included.
We believe, if two people know the issues, know the facts, know the law, then they should, logically, draw the same conclusions. Educating the opposing side on one of these elements should lead them to the same conclusion we’ve reached. If it doesn’t, see “Positioning”.
“Processing”
By and large, most divorce cases just require “processing”; processing of the 5 Stages of Grief, processing of emotions, processing of the realities of the next stage in life. People need a little time, space, and understanding to move on. We try to help, in part, by sharing:
Some lawyers abandon clients to their own processing – thereby delaying it and causing enormous damage to the situation. Other lawyers – like us – jump into the processing phase with both feet. Clients are happier, cases are easier, and frankly, the world is a better place (there’s that Boulder thing again).
Processing can be done in many ways. Choosing your processing mechanism, at this early stage, right now as you’re reading this, is critical. Some are bad habits and can be dangerous. For example, processing with alcohol, drugs, and eating poorly isn’t really processing at all. These mechanisms are just another form of a destructive “path”.
And again, with our holistic approach, we encourage clients to make healthy processing choices by providing resources:
- Healthy Living
- Fitness
- Enjoying Life Along the Way
- Moving On
The real path, processing with health, fitness, self-development and humor, will change your life for the better. Seriously.
Loading ...Why Johnson Sauer?
So why pick one of us as your lawyer? While we were voted, twice, the “Most Aggressive” lawyers, we consider it a dubious distinction and more likely to mislead than inform.
This is because each case is so different and requires the appropriate level of assertiveness. Sometimes, you have to be ready to launch a “D-Day” like attack (see “Positioning”). Other times, in other cases, gentle guidance is all that’s needed (see “Processing”) to get what the client wants.
Our holistic approach, the temperament of our lawyers, our experience, our relative low cost – these are more valid measures of why clients should – and do – chose us over the other firms popping up in your search engine.
Call us – see for yourself.
Loading ...About Us – Video
